What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
