Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
How's work?
Spinning.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
