so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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