i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
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