make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
