Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
