Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
