I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
