I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
