Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Randomize