"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
