He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
