how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
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