Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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