Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
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