Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
