She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
