is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
