you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
