Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
