Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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