At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
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Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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