I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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