Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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