There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
