They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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