you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
