so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Someone signed my nipple.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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