Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
