Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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