Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
time to smoke my breakfast
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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