That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
