He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
