Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
