I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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