NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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