i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Houston, we have a blender
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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