I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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