...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
