There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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