he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Is it because I queefed?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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