she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize