And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize