Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
