He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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