There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I have feelings that need drinking.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
