some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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