So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
