I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
