The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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