the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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