I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize