apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
