this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Randomize
