i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
