hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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