So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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