Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
false alarm, still single
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
