would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize