11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
