if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I could make wine with my vomit
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
