On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
