So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
