We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
