Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
this hospital has no fireball
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
