it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
