She announced her abortion via fbk
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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