According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
