ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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